What Are Your Life-Changing Questions?
Ever had a question that you KNOW the answer to, but you’re struggling to BELIEVE it?
We know we “shouldn't beat ourselves up.” But that doesn’t stop us from wondering if we are good enough.
We know we “have plenty to be happy about.” But that doesn't stop us from wondering if there’s anything that we can look forward to.
We know we “deserve to be treated well.” But that doesn’t stop us from wondering if everything is our fault.
Sometimes we struggle with the questions we think we already know the answer to for our entire lives.
We’ve talked to everyone who will listen, we’ve read every book.
We’ve heard the same advice over and over, that LOGICALLY we agree with.
But that logical answer doesn’t get rid of the painful thoughts and emotions that haunt us.
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My Struggle with Self-Doubt
When I started working as a therapist I was terribly afraid of making mistakes.
My friends would reassure me and tell me not to be so hard on myself, “It’s ok to make mistakes.”
But I didn’t believe them. It didn't feel ok to be human. It felt like I had to be perfect.
I remember telling my therapist: “If someone spoke to me the way I speak to myself, I’d punch them.”
I knew I wasn’t supposed to be so hard on myself, but just knowing that didn’t make the fear go away.
My therapist eventually asked me what I thought would happen if I made a mistake.
That question dumbfounded me because I couldn’t believe I hadn’t asked myself that before.
I realised that my whole life I’ve made mistakes like anyone else, and those mistakes have always been incredible opportunities to learn.
My mistakes helped me grow, and they still do.
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I wasn’t afraid of making mistakes. I was afraid that I wasn’t enough.
I’ve always been ambitious.
Having high goals can make a person afraid they won’t reach them.
The problem was that my ambition felt like fear, instead of determination and excitement.
Questioning why I was afraid of mistakes completely changed my perspective on my self-esteem.
Now I expect and embrace the challenging and critical questions I ask myself after every session with my clients.
I’ve finally learned to embrace my ambition without believing the lie that perfection is necessary, or even possible.
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Uncovering the Answers That Inspire Change
My career has started to centre around helping people find that deeper question.
When people wonder why they’ve been grieving for such a long time they often tell themselves they "should just move on."
Often we can't start grieving while we are stuck in the fear of our overwhelming memories.
When people are afraid that they aren’t good enough, they tell themselves that they should “man up” or just “be more confident.”
Sometimes there are fears from the past that creep up into the present, that need to be resolved.
Or we might not have confidence in ourselves because we haven’t had the opportunity to discover what we can do.
We also often set impossible standards for ourselves, so when we judge ourselves we always come up short.
When people ask themselves why it’s so hard to move on, and not feel guilty, they tell themselves that they should just “set boundaries” and “take care of themselves.”
Often we have to take care of our parents or have extra burdens as children, so we don’t learn to respect our own needs.
Or we’ve been taught that our needs don’t matter, which is a lesson that needs to be unlearned.
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What Are Your Life-Changing Questions?
What are the painful questions you’ve been asking yourself over and over?
What would it mean for your life if you could find a real answer?
Together we can uncover what has kept you stuck, so you can finally grow.
Let’s start a conversation about what’s holding you back.
Message me today, and let’s find the real answers to your life-changing questions together.
